Things Jack Skellington would never say
by alyssialui
Summary: Finally thought up some of these. Its because I never watched the movie, although I luved Jack. I jus thought he was sexci :D...Hope everyone luvs it
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my new story called _Things Jack Skellington would never say._ Check out my other stories and I hope you enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jack Skellington... If I did, there'd be a little less singing. Its great and all but stopping every minute for a song?? Gets on my nerves... But i guess it is a Disney movie :D**

* * *

Jack: What's this these white things in the air...

Elf: It's called dandruff

* * *

Sally: I thought you liked frog's breath...

Dr. Finklestein: 'We've been through this before. I told you I'd prefer it if you brush your teeth.'

* * *

Jack: Sally, I can't believe I never realized that you... 

L, S, B: Hey we found them!

Sally: Get the beep out of here! It's a romantic moment!

* * *

Santa: Haven't you ever heard of peace on earth and good will toward men? 

Oogie: Haven't you ever heard of Jenny Craig?

* * *

Jack: My dearest friend if you don't mind, I'd like to join you by your side 

Sally: Access denied.

Jack: WHY?!!? -Victor pops out from behind her- Oh I see! You love him instead of me! You were cheating on me!

Victor: Stay away from my Sally!

Jack: Die bastard! -shoots him with a bb-

* * *

Shock: When he comes a sniffing we will snap the trap and close the gate! 

Santa Claus: Hey! I heard that!

* * *

Doctor Finkelstein: You've poisoned me for the last time, you wretched girl! 

Sally: Well, if you wouldn't have made those antiseptic remarks against that waitress at Denny's, we COULD have been eating there instead

* * *

Santa: What are you going to do to me? 

Oogie: What, are you coming on to me?

* * *

Vampire: You're such a scream Jack! 

Jack: Yeah- about that- I think it'd be better for both of us if we were "Just Friends"

* * *

Jack: Somewhere Deep inside of these bones, a longing that I've never known.. 

Sally: Okay, I'll come out - But only "IF" you can keep you pants on this time.

* * *

Jack: This is a thing called a present, the whole thing starts with a box. 

Santa: Duh, Einstein!

* * *

Undersea Gal: Jack! You make wounds ooze and flesh crawl! 

Jack:-pukes- Very descriptive, arn't we?

* * *

Sally: Will we ever end up together? 

Dr. Finkelstein: NO! You're mine, and I love you

* * *

Dr. Finkelstein: That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off 

Sally: Do you ever wonder what I do?

* * *

Barrell: Let's draw straws! 

Shock: How about NO!

* * *

Oogie Boogie Man: You a gambling man, Sandy? 

Sandy Claws: Well, I did just lose my car and $15,000 in Las Vegas, but if you insist...

* * *

SALLY: 'I sense there's something in the wind...' 

Jack really has to stop feeding Zero those Christmas cookies

* * *

1gor: 'Master, the plans... for the new swimming pool, and the sauna, and...

* * *

Jack Skellington- "Not now, Zero. Down, boy... 

zero: bark bark, translation: but you promised to play with me, now throw me a bone or i tell sally about...

Jack: ok here go boy 


	2. Chapter 2

Mayor: there's only 365 days left to next Halloween

* * *

Werewolf: 'Actually, Mayor, when you fell down those steps outside Jack's house you hit your head and you slipped into a coma for three hundred and sixty four days and twenty three hour

* * *

Shock: I wish my coharts wern't so dumb!

Lock: 'It's not our fault. Snake and spider stew has long germ neurological side effects.'

* * *

Sally: 'You don't look like yourself, Jack. Not at all.'

Jack: 'I told you this dress was too tight on me.'

* * *

Jack: "And the best, I must confess, I have saved for last.."

Jack: ' and Check Mate, Oogie, I win. Do you want to play another game of chess or should we move on to twister?

* * *

Oogie: 'Well, well, well. What have we here?'

Santa: '17/f/cali lol u?1??'

* * *

Jack: 'Well, at least they're excited, but they don't understand... but should I really expect any different from people who shop at Hot Topic?

* * *

Sally: Jack, I know how you feel. It's frikkin cold outside. Put on a coat!

* * *

Jack: That's right! I AM THE PUMPIN KING!!!! HAHAHA!!!!

Random voice on the side: NO YOU'RE NOT! You imposter!

* * *

Mayor: Jack! It's Boogie's boys!

Jack: 'Nn, no. I asked for The Backstreet boys.'


	3. Chapter 3

Submitted by _corpsebride1994:_

Jack: I AM THE PUMPKIN KING!  
Zim (Invader Zim): YOU LIE!  
jACK; NO AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?  
Tim Burton: He's replaceing you Hot Topic sells more "invader Zim" stuff than "Nightmare before Christmas" stuff.  
Jack: just like the time you replaced me with Harry Potter?  
Tim Burton: that had nothing to do with hot topic that was so i could be on t.v. more...  
Jack: )walks away mumbling under brwath) the fricken show got cancled...

* * *

Jack: 'There's got to be a logical way to explain this Christmas thing

Santa: 'Logic? In the North Pole? We have elves making toys and invisible workshops... dont talk logic to me.

* * *

Saxaphone Player: 'Nice work, Bone Daddy...'

Jack: 'Umm... Thanks but I'm not your father. I told your mother that three times now.'

* * *

Sally: Where'd they take that Sandy Claws?

Random Dude: To Wal Mart for a new wardrobe

* * *

Oogie: I may split a seam if I don't die laughing first!'

Santa: 'Your seams split that easily? That's what you get for buying Nightmare before Christmas t shirts from Hot Topic.

* * *

Shadow: Wouldn't you like to see something strange? It's a two headed turkey here to destroy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!

* * *

Jack: Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?

Sally: It does, just not for you

* * *

Vampires: Snakes and mice get wrapped up so nice, with spiders legs and pretty bows'

Jack: 'It's amazing what you find on sale at Walmart these days

* * *

Witch: 'You made walls fall, Jack.'

A wall fall on the witch

Jack:I better get out of here

* * *

Narrator: now you've probably wondered where holidays come from...

Random voice: No, I haven't. But you probably don't know where holidays come from yourself

* * *

Oogie Boogie: What's this you're saying about luck, rag doll?

Sally: That it's bull and the leprechauns make it up for a laugh 


	4. Chapter 4

Dr. Finklestein: the nightshade you slipped in my tea has worn off Sally.

Sally: That wasnt nightshade, it was a roofie

* * *

Creature under the bed: I am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp...

Kid: So _you're _the one that watches me when I sleep. eew...

* * *

Jack: Christmas Town? Hmmm...

Elf: Yes, it's Christmas town!!! Can't you see the sign?

* * *

Boogie Man: I am the shadow on the moon at night...

Dark Wing Duck: 'I am the terror that flaps in the night... This doesn't look like The Disney after noon.'

* * *

Jack: How did you get down here, Sally?

Sally: That slide over there. It was fun. WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

* * *

Shock, Lock: And Jack will beat us black and green!

Barrel: 'But that's okay. We like that sort of thing

* * *

Jack: Christmas time is buzzing in my skull

Dr. Finklestein: It might be a tumor

* * *

L, S and B: Kidnap the sandy claws, throw him in a box..

Lock: Would he eat green eggs with a fox in a box?

Shock, Barrel: wtf...

* * *

Sally: I'm not hungry.

sticks her fingers down her throat and vomits violently all over everything

Sally: Now I am.

Jack. I'm not!

* * *

Jack: I read these Christmas books so many times ... God I need to get a tv 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Im back again after so long. Sorry readers who havent reported me yet.**

* * *

**Submitted by _Jacksfangurl01: _**

Harlequin Demon: Won't they be impressed I am a genius...

Werewolf: (whispers to cyclops) He's got the sax player locked up for a sex toy

* * *

Jack: My dearest friend, if you don't mind... GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BED!

* * *

Oogie Boogie:He's ancient, he's ugly, I don't know which is worse ... actually that really sugary smell annoys the Hell out of me!

* * *

Jack: What have I done/ what have I done? No seriously what have I done? I'm so high I don't even know which side is left.

* * *

Mayor: We've got to find Jack!

Wolfman: Come on, man! I'm still trying to find Waldo, for Pete's sake! (lifts a Where's Waldo book over his face)

* * *

Jack: There were objects so peculiar, they were not to be believed! A basketball that can float in midair if it's wrapped in toilet paper!

* * *

Sally:... Can't shake this feeling that I have

Jack: ...That people will never shut up about emos?

* * *

Oogie: And now with your permission... I'm gonna graffiti the walls.

Santa: Hell no! -Oogie hits him with a nightstick- Uh yeah it's okay

* * *

Santa: Who could that be?

Mrs. Claus: Well, instead of standing around wondering, you could open the beeping door and find out, you stupid beep of a husband!

* * *

Sally: Jack...I know how you feel...

Jack: How? Do you, like, got this phsyic connection to me or something? Now that _is_ weird!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is the end!! I'd like to thank the few reviewers I had:**

_NightmareBeforeChristmasFreak, Jacksfangurl01, Jombra, Dark knightress, TigerJulia, XxSweet-NightmarexX, Fluttercanon, VLACKCAT1393, corpsebride1994, Southparkizmyanti-drug, QuickCookie, The K-Wolf, _and_ NightmareFairy._

**And to all those who read and didn't review, you should have but it's okay.  
**

* * *

**Corpse Kid: There goes Christmas!  
The other citizens of Halloween Town look at each other in silence for a few seconds, and then: (To the tune of "Making Christmas") There goes Christmas! There goes Christmas! La-la-la!  
Corpse Kid: Jack just died, have a little respect!

* * *

Oogie Boogie: You're jokin', you're jokin'! I can't believe my ears! Would someone shut this fella up? I'm drownin' in my... st  
santa clause: Thats the sickest thing ive ever seen  
Oogie Boogie: I cant help it, i only have 1 hole and it has to come out somewhere

* * *

Jack Skellington: I don't believe what's happening to me. My hopes, my dreams, my fantasies. Hee, hee, hee, hee ha ha ha ha AHHHHHHH!!! I really have to choose my fantasies better!

* * *

Doctor Finkelstein: You want me to starve?! An old man such as me, who has barely enough strength as it is! Me, to whom you owe your very life!  
Sally: Wow dude get a grip on yourself!

* * *

Oogie: would someone shut this fella up?  
Lock Shock and Barrel: Okay! where's the duct tape?

* * *

Shock: Jack said we should work together!  
Lock: My God it isn't that hard to make a macaroni picture!

* * *

Jack: Just a second fellas!... I have to go to the bathroom

* * *

corpse chorus:Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can pops out  
Oscar: I'm not man actually. And go away!

* * *

Santa:this must be some mistake!  
Jack:I'm sorry santa, but it's true. you have aids.  
Santa: NOOOOOOO!!!

* * *

Sally: Where'd they take that Sandy Claws?  
Melting Man: I'm hearing screams of paralyzing fear, so as far as I can make out, either Oogie Boogie's place or Connecticut

* * *

Mayor: No, thanks to you, Jack! Without your brilliant leadership...  
Zero: Yadda yadda yadda! Enough with Jack! What about man's best friend?  
Jack: ...Did he just talk?

* * *

Jack+Sally: We're simply meant to be...losing our virginity to each other!!  
start having sex  
Zero: um...I'm just gonna walk away now.  
leaves. Jack and Sally don't even notice

* * *

Oogie:(singing) cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie, and you ain't going nowhere...  
Santa: But, I need to go to the bathroom!  
Oogie: -.- Fine hurry up.

* * *

Jack: And I, Jack! The Pumpkin King!  
Sally: For God's sake Jack, we know you're the beeping Pumpkin King! STOP BRAGGING!  
Jack:(looking offended) You're just jealous because I get to wear the pumpkin suit...  
**


End file.
